The Difference between a One Night Stand and an Escort.

Posted on 25 February 2012

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Reblogged from The Difference between a One Night Stand and an Escort.

Posted on February 22, 2012

One of the most annoying, ignorant and blinkered opinions I have heard is that the only difference between a one night stand, and seeing an escort, is that money changes hands. A radio presenter on a relatively new radio station was espousing this ridiculous prostitution myth recently, with much support from the innocent but sheep like listeners. I can understand why people want to believe this about escorting; It makes it familiar, safe, non threatening, just some fun. It makes the sex that a prostitute does, be about sex they know, rather than the reality of what prostitution ‘sex’ is; a service. Cash is just an extra perk to the sex you would be having anyway, isn’t it?

Christ.

Let me just clear that one up in what will hopefully be a short concise post. I’m going to presume that we have all had one nighters. You’re wherever you are, you end up at some session til 11 o’clock the next morning, you end up having sex with someone you met or are vaguely friends with or an acquaintance or whatever.


You have sex with them because it’s been six months since you’ve had sex, or because you want a boyfriend and think it might be a shortcut to one, or because you just go along with it, or because he’s a complete ride and why the fuck not. Some are amazing choices, some are terrible choices that take a toll on your self esteem, some you end up in a relationship with, some are embarrassing and some end up as friends and some you end up hating because they turned out to be a complete dick.

The next morning you have an awkward cigarette out the window together, or you have sex again, or he makes you breakfast and drops you to the bus, or you sneak out before he wakes up, or you spend the entire weekend together. After this you may or may not see him again. He might turn into a fuck buddy or a relationship or you might feel bad about feeling like a slut due to the societal conditions imposed on you, so you swear you won’t do it again.

Fine. That’s a one night stand. Sexual liberty etc. It’s great.

No money exchanges hands. Paying for a woman’s drinks/dinner/taxi etc is not ‘the same’ as hiring an escort. Women are not by default prostitutes just because you have been conditioned to see them as that. Sex is not a transaction. Sex happens because both people are attracted to each other and want to have sex; not as a favour, not because he paid for anything, or gave you anything, or promised you anything. If the sex you are having does feel like a transaction, then you’re doing it wrong, so sort it out now because you are missing out on good sex, whether that is in a relationship or a one nighter. Sex is not a weapon and should never be used as one.

Using an escort is this:

You fancy an orgasm. You cruise through the ads online, you pick one and you ring her. There is no answer. You go through five girls until one answers. You clear your browsing history. You generally say ‘Are you working?’ when she answers. You might ask her to wear the pink outfit she has on in her ad photos. You might make sure that there are no ‘extras’ (such as an extra 50 for anal, and that everything is included). You might ask her just to remind you what her ‘favourites’ are once more so you can quote them back to her if she ‘changes her mind’ when you arrive. You’re an experienced punter.

She’s free in an hour. You’re excited. You give your wife an excuse to leave the house. You go to the ATM and take out about €200 (you booked for 30 minutes but upon seeing her you might go for the hour option instead). You arrive at her door in her apartment complex.

She is not the girl in the photos, but pretty enough and has made some attempt to wear the correct outfit. You can hear other noises and voices coming from another room but you ignore it. There is no conversation as either her English is so bad or she is pretending that it is. You hand her the cash and she gets down to work. You try to instruct her as best you can what to do/not to do. You finish up by coming on her stomach and leave.

Now can someone tell me what the similarities are between a one night stand and using a prostitute?